Last post of 2006

So I wanted to write this last post. Last post of 2006.
It's been a good year. I liked it. Mainly because I like the number six. And because I got into my uni. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't. (...)

Oh, well.. 2007 is comming. I sense it's not gonna be a good year. Not an easy one at least..

2006 is ending. my year. Oh my. What's going to happen now? I feel like my ship sailed out of a peaceful harbour and is going out there, to the gray, dangerous, quiet, yet with lightnings sea.

What will 2007 bring? Oh, my..

Christmas.

It's Christmas.

What's new?

So, what's new?
Well, I have had my tough time. I had honestly no strenght no more. Usually it is hard, but deep down within I always have hope, that this is what makes me happy, and what I want. Well, 3 days ago until yesterday I felt like I really couldn't do it no more. The knowledge that you are never done. You always have some other subject to study for and the truth is it is impossible to be prepared for everything. You don't even have time to accept your failure, cuz you're already supposed to be studying for another important thing...

well, enough of the hard stuff (just wanted you to know the thuth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth :P). Than my faith in people was restored, by my chemistry teacher and my aunt and a trip to the theatre.

I feel so... nobly (I hope this word has a positive connotation - dictionary). It is hard, but at the same time there are other things in life. Not to concentrate on, but to.. lift me up at times.

I have nearly bouth a book today. (I will finish off buying tomorrow, it is already booked though). It is called "The History of Beauty" by Umberto Eco and that together with my beautiful dress I bought for myself from my parents are really the only thing I need to get for Christmas. I don't need earings, or cloths or ropes or socks. :P It's nice to get them, but with moderation. I have started to quietly agree with my dad. I don't really need all those presents. (Or I feel so right now). It is nice to get small stuff and I will apreciate them, but...

The dress is brown, knee-length and New Year's Eve kinda type. I have never had a dress like that. In it, I feel like a little princess... ;P


One wish for this Christmas time: do something nice for someone.. We all are just people. :)

How I've changed.

I burst into laughter more often.
I do not give up, when sth like chemistry is poisining my life.
I talk to my mother more. And anout more important things.

My hair is in constant disorder. Like this little forest creature, very natural, wavy. (I like it)
I have heard that my smile is nice.

I appriciate music more.
I walk with the dog once a day.
I check Your blogs basicly every day.

I think.
I study.
I meet people.

I get confused like never before.
Nothing is as simple as before.
I want my nails to be done by a proffesional for once.

I stopped wearing those short skirts.


How I have not changed:

I still want to buy socks every time I am in a bad mood. (They aren't the same though..)
I remember you.
I like buying "little pleasues" on my way home.
I still like walking, and still sometimes want to run. (...)

I miss my cat.

bye,bye, my friends.
This is how I've changed.
(A bit.)


//kasia.

Just a normal day. (...)

And who would have thought...
me, music and the vision of (a) him.
Smile, music and just me.
me and me. And music.

I don't know how it will all go.
If it'll go.
I will have my bad day.
But now...
hehe. :)

// I just want to clarify that the whole "thinking thing" kinda passed, so no need to worry about it anymore.//

A single walk is enough.

I have never been so stimulated to think. I feel it's in the air all the time, I think, think, think, loudly exclaim a decision and than continue to think about it as if I never reached a conclusion.

"I mean, is it possible? Noo..." and then over and over again. A single walk was enough. I know You don't understnad what I am writing about, but this is the way it is supposed to be. I am writing to myslelf, hoping it will help me deal with it.

Maybe it's a turning point?

I just need to know that somoeone knows that I am going through something, will pat me on the back and say: "I am here for you. No matter what it is." ;j

Why chocolate puddings can threaten your life.

So it's 11 min. to three.
I have eaten every possible thing in this flat. I basicly am "snacking" all day today, constantly in the mood for something (not prengant though!).

I am so restless. I was just sitting in an armchair, reading a "non-school" book, about normal people and ekhem! by "accident" a chapter about two cute people about to get together and I just found myself talking to myself and laughing about it... how stupid is that?

I am soo full... just ate another pudding and my aunt just called telling me to put on some water, cuz we're gonna start making dinner! I just ate! Where will I fit it in?!! And it's SPAGETTI!! (basicly a lasagne!!)

I am laughing even now, writing this post. Pathetic little creature...
(Who's about to get fat!) And I don't really care at the moment.
Dinner : making & eating that will take time until 16:30, and that is the time when this series, I wanted to see starts... when will I fit in books? School work?
Uaagh... my stomach hurts. But I can't tell my aunt, can I?
Suffer! Suffer now! you little glutton!

I hate nice people!

I don't like them!
I don't understand them!
They make me confused!!









(I mean the REALLY nice ones...)

TIME (2)

Moments.

That is what I am aware of. I can feel it. It takes time. A split second doesn't.
A moment is something that is very short, but at the same time memorable, cuz something that happened in that moment is connected to... feelings. Not decisions.
A moment has an entirely different meaning than a split second.
And since moments are connected to emotions, it might bother.

I once discovered "present". "This moment", so that I am capable of being aware of "now". It can be beautiful, but it can bother, when you're about to study, mostly however it is just sad...


Is that a plus that I am aware of time?
Is that a plus that I can imagine so vividly that I must die? Do I want to realise this things? Will they help me die in peace?
Or maybe they're just here to help me put an order into "now"...

Time (1)

Split second - that's all it takes.

To choose an ice-cream flavour, to remember the answer on a question on a test, to understand a joke, to know if you are attracted to someone or not. to realise...

I don't really have anything to write about now.
Anything. - Except for time. Cuz that is the only thing I feel.