Group choosing.

It's group choosing now. People decide who they want to be with in a group next year. I think I am going to have to repeat this year, that is why this is so painfull. Because I met so many wonderfull people, that really show me their liking. And now I am supposed to say goodbye. Their choosing really great groups those great people and what about me...?

I'm in none on those groups. I fear the day when someone I would like to be in a group with asks me.. That is why it is so painfull. But I know that it is not only my fault..

It's still really hard.. to let go of people you already know they geniuinly care and go into the unknown.. again.
Oh, God, give me the strength!

Do I even have to comment?

I think I just need this.. I have an inner need for beauty. natural beauty as you can see.. I am so calm and happy. Why? Has something happened? Or..?

Not to be negaive maybe it's the silence before the strom...

May. The 2nd..

...

Hello. I'm not sure what I wanna write here, I just have a break inbetween studying and during my last break I really wanted to communicate in English, so I'm writing now.

Hehe.. but what, but what?
No way.. me having a diffculty writing...

maybe what's up with me? lately.

not much. Or.. ?

Well, I've been feeling quite strong lately. Quite strong and sure of myself. Happy. Maybe it's because I've been talking to my dad and he said that he thinks what I am really smart (I doubt that at times), maybe because there is no bigger threat in uni situation close to me (YET), maybe because the latest flirt has ended and it was me who ended it definitelly. Maybe because that ending didn't crush me at all (a new circumstance), maybe because I have found that I am arising intrest among other guys and the fact that that I can put an "s" in the end of "guys" is very comforting indeed...

It is possible that due to those factors I suddenly find myself looking quite pretty (as it usually happens I am off school so it's not like anyone can see that - got used to it) and I have abnormal, since God knows how long, level of hope that not only "everything will be alright", but also "I will manage with everything".. (-->)

Well, I don't know what else to write. Only that I know that this post is a bit unusuall. It's a bit egocentric and like.. impassively realistic. Totally unlike me.. (I would think.) Just, lately I've been feeling or rather not feeling any dramas.. I am on constant road of peacefull "I know what I have to do and I am feeling content with what is surrounding me and in me" strange, ey? No "tragedy! tragedy! tragedy!".. am I growing up, you think?