Freud and I

Freud's teory states that everything we do in the present day originates form our childhood expiriances.. So how come is that that I let not noone close to me? I only feel safe if they're with someone or it's not a potential crush for both of us.

Otherwise, I put my armour on again and everything gets messed up...

They say "what doesn't kill you, makes you strong". But what if it leaves other traces on your psychic? Like you don't really trust anyone.. I still get so surpiced why people like me. And those inner blockades? those of a kind: "I don't know! Don't ask me!" even if I would know if only i thought a bit...

It's shit that saying. What doesn't kill you does not make you strong. It just turns you into a shellfish with a sceleton outside...

A new decade for Sam.

Sam, You didn't get my message. Couldn't really cuz I forgot to send it (very, very, very important test the next day, I am ashamed). Well, than there is nothing else for me to do now but...

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY, DAMN HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!! YOU'RE THE FIRST GUY TO BE TWENTY (20!!!), ARE'NT WE OLD?! WELL ON THAT OCCATION I WISH ALL THE BEST, HAPPINESS, SOME TIME FOR YOURESELF (with all that work there), GREAT EXPIRIANCES (not only connected to God and being his shepherd), LOADS OF ICE-CREAM, FLOWERS THAT DON'T DIE, A NICE FLAT AND MOST OF ALL GOOD LUCK WITH STARTING YOUR UNI AND EVERYHING THAT FOLLOWS. i WISH YOU A GOOD LIFE SAM. HAPPY BITHDAY. :)


...wish you happy birthday here.
(wanted to take you by surprise ;P )

Face.

This is what we make use of to see others. The way we do that ("see") depends on us. On our intelligence, life exipirance and, well... primitive instincts.

I cannot say this is bullshit, cuz it's not! I, myself, being in uni noticed a couple of people that I think it would be worthy to be friends with. I don't know them! I have no idea who they are, but I,. in some peculiar way, like them already. And I know you can say it in not the face only,but I can bet you on it that if you'd exchanged their faces with someone else the effect would fade away.

The most terrible example is.. (!) what we like the most. When we go out to have fun. "I'm bored, let's do something."- "Let's go out" So there you have it, it is during those playing abouts, we judge people by their faces (mostly!). When we choose our friends and most obviously.. when we choose our flings.

How come is that that two guys that I could not differ between discribing them oraly, one of them I damn like, the other one is just a guy I know?

Inner anger.

There is an disarray in my room. Everything is just lying around. The kichen is dirty. And I am damn not cleaning it! My aunt expects stuff from me, the dog doesn't want to "walk" on our walks. The tissues in which I wept yesterday are still lying in disorder,

polluting my chance for a better tomorrow.