I am waisting my reality.. It came to me today.
When you work hard, you want your breakes to be rewarding. Something nice, something better than that work. Not just a moment, after which you will continue your work...
Than I go to Tv. It's fun, it's playful, it has a lot of colours, loads is happening, but it is not happening to me. Loads of what I watch is not giving me anything.
It's stealing my reality.
It takes my mind of what I am doing. What it does accually is filling my mind with information, so there is no place for any other unhappy thoughs..
Why does it happen usually? Cuz I am weak. Cuz everything valuble I could do is "something I can not afford to do"..
But when I think about now.. I had been doing it today because I am slowly loosing my strength. I've been sitting at home for the past week and the only things I do are: studying, having breaks from studying, thining about relatioships that COULD happen (if you're in love a great way to be happy... but what if your not?) and eating. Not even the dog wants to go out for longer than 10 min. My life got boring.. Pointless. Not overall.. I just miss people and need to meet them. Sitting alone whole day long only to meet my aunt for 0.5 h is really not enough contact for a 20-year old girl. Even if I need to study. I also need the strength to do that..
Eureka! I know what I need.
On all other times, I still really need to cut down on the damn black screen.
