Honey, I'm..

Suprisingy, two new people found out about this lovely page's existance so this is kind of a mile stone for the question of whether or not I should keep it. So I shall.

I am doing fine, maybe I'll start with telling you what has been up since the last time I really 'updated' this page.. ;)

Well, I had redone my first year of med school with the amazing (and in my opinion deserved) result of being the 13th in my year (of together about 300 people). So you can see I HAVE studied properly.. but not only of course. I must admit that I have also quite succesfully explored the fun side of going to the university. I am proud to say I am no longer a good girl who gets sleepy at 12 and would rather just go back to bed, oh no, my fellow readers, I am having a blast untill 3 (when they usually close everything) and feeling unsatisfied when out of pure reason 'better-to-get-3-h-sleep-than-non' am finally going home. ;PP

Love life? While of course going on, never though quite the way I want it to, so better not evaluate on this subject.. ;P

Other wise..? Of course; I have mooved. I am living with one roomate in Gdańsk Wrzeszcz (which in polish means: scream, kind of funny, ain't it?) and am not complaing a lot though the standarts have dropped rapidly. My biggest problem however is not that, but the need to supply myself with sufficient nutricion. Prefferibly warm. I simply hate the thought of spending an hour (!) of my free-off-studying-time cooking.. but that's life I suppose, so i better just get used to it...

I am.. fine with all other people in my year, that is I don't know them very well, I just focus on my last years people and only a couple I met this year.

And.. I miss my cat.

That is, I belive, the ultimate update. Happy?
If not,
send your letter of complains to..
'comments' and add:
hugs and kisses for the author.

;P

xox to all of YOU. :*

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I am not sure if I am to keep this blog. It's not like I'm writing. It's not like anyone is reading. It's not like.. I wouln't miss it...

Traitor.

Havn't wtitten here for so long. I think I prefer this blog acctually. Though when I found the new blog I has thrilled to have an opportunity to express myself in P-lish. A new door opened.

But I betraied this blog. I stopped writing. Why? Maybe I was feeling betraied myself. On the crossroads with my expectations the the way it really was going the other way. It feels empty to write for 2 people only. It was supposed to be more, but it never happened.. It felt empty to shout to the void. So I stopped. Was I right? Was it void? I hardly know anymore. But nobody has commented me since June. Not even to hasten me to get going and write something...

I really like writing on this blog.. :(

The power of past.

In some grade, I don't really remember when, my art teacher told me that every colour has its connotations. I dare to claim that it got stuck so deeply in my mind that even now, so many years after, I seek THAT colour to express myslef..

Purple - associated with graveyards and being scared, anxious. For me it also had inner connotations with sadness...

(Dealing with trouble.)

I've just "written" a song. I think it might be the best song ever in my life. Not only saying what I want to convey, but also very melodic and rhymy.

The problem is that, as always, I sing it out and later on have no idea how it went (that is why "written").

Even if, it still wouldn't sound as powerfull and the word choosing would as always be an issue.

This way, at least you know. I have made the best song I am capable of, it was really good, it could even be bradcasted. But it doesn't matter now, it's words are forgotten, it's sound as well, it's existanse soon will be.. so is it any good to create sth like that?

Yes. It is good for right now. For Me.

"...

So I look in your direction,

but you pay me no attention, do you?

I know you don't listen yo me,

cuz you say you see straight through me, don't you?"

-Coldplay

Group choosing.

It's group choosing now. People decide who they want to be with in a group next year. I think I am going to have to repeat this year, that is why this is so painfull. Because I met so many wonderfull people, that really show me their liking. And now I am supposed to say goodbye. Their choosing really great groups those great people and what about me...?

I'm in none on those groups. I fear the day when someone I would like to be in a group with asks me.. That is why it is so painfull. But I know that it is not only my fault..

It's still really hard.. to let go of people you already know they geniuinly care and go into the unknown.. again.
Oh, God, give me the strength!